BREAKING NEWS: Brian Kelly admitted to state asylum.

Seriously, who would be CRAZY enough to take that Notre Dame job when Cinicinatti has been treating you pretty nicely lately. Let's see, the starting QB and best WR will be gone, the defense couldn't stop a 3rd grader in a game of 'red light, green light', and, oh, did the collective fan base and boosters mention that they expect a national championship appearance next year?

I would have loved for them to hire Skip Holtz, just so Lou Holtz's comments on ESPN could be even more out-of-touch with reality. I turned on the TV the other night and Lou Holtz was telling his fellow analysts that he thought Notre Dame would be competing for a national championship within 3 years. 3 years!!!!

But I guess for the money he's likely to get, I'd be hard pressed to pass it up. Wait, didn't I mention that on NCAA09 I've been on a 5 year National Champion streak? Shoulda hired me! I could have used some of the money for a shock collar for Lou Holtz everytime he's about to make some senile/insane remark about the losin' irish.

Just pray Coach Kelly doesn't offend Coach Danny Hope, because we all know Coach Hope would never have a little something extra for somebody he doesn't like. (towards the end of the article)

Well darn, I guess as long as the walrus is waddling his way (I adore alliteration) out of South Bend I might as well take a final jab:
Charlie, I don't know if it's glandular, but DAMN dude, you gotta get on weight-watchers or SOMETHING! I mean, don't you feel kind of bad ordering laps for players when you could use a few yourself. Call up Coach Zook at Illinois, see how he does it.